So this is my blog response to Jman's recent post. I would put a link to it, but I am far too lazy for that, so you will just have to click on the link to JMan's blog on the right.

Anyway, JMan was discussing how good of a song write PT is, as well as his own struggles with it.

First off, PT is a great song write. I should know, I played in a band with him for two years. He has this uncanny ability to convert his thoughts into song. I remember one occasion. We had just endured 3 days of a living hell journey to California. finally arriving to Huntington Beach we had spent a long day of surf. I stayed out a bit longer then anyone else. I sat there in the middle of the ocean while the sunset. It was an amazing experience. The whole trip was very eye-opening an experience that left me in awe. As I walked back to our hotel after this mind-blowing sunset. There was PT sitting beside the pool of our hotel with his guitar in hand. What was he playing, but a song he wrote in about 5 minutes that just seemed to sum up all of the joy of that trip. It was amazing, and it is truly a gift.

I on the other hand have never seemed to posess this gift. I have tried, but been unsuccessful. However that does not keep me from trying. Musically I have always past off my inability to compose on my lack of technical ability with the guitar. However, while I still can not compose this mind-blowing song, I can at least begin to put music to my feelings. Now I face a much more difficult task, writing lyrics. It is kinda funny I can write, but not to song. I can scribble lyrics, but then not find a tune to work with them. It is always just a bit off.

I have always kind passed this inability to song write as simply there was nothing I felt like writing a song about. But in reality that is far from true. I mean from the strongest emotions I have felt to forgettable walk down the street, there is a song everywhere. In reality I think this excuse was simply a way to pacify myself. So what then is the reality? On the surface there are a few things from laziness to lack of dedication. But those are simply excuses and nothing more. I have been dedicated, and I have worked at it. Yet there are no fruits of those labors.

For me I think the problem lies within myself. It has nothing to do with lack of ability or lack of desire or passion. It is fear. Fear of what, I don't even know. When I play guitar, I am protected, shielded from the guitar itself. The guitar especially in the way I normally play shows emotion but not specific emotion. Don't get me wrong, the instrument itself is certainly capable of show the deepest emotions but I am not good enough at it to do that and the bare/bones style I have developed tend to convey very vague emotions. See, then I look at writing a song, lyrically I am really just opening my soul within the song. This exposure creates a place of fear within me. Not fear of wearing my heart on my sleeve, but fear of it not being right.

I become a perfectionist. I cannot just write a song, I need to create the song that perfectly captures all that I feel. With mediocre skills both musically and in words that is a huge task. Every note, every word, every rhyme needs to be right. I talked with PT himself on a recent episode of the Bliss. His response was really simple, it was don't try to write this perfect beautiful piece of music, just put some words to music and there you go. Perhaps he is right. I have probably set this bar far too high. However breaking myself of this perfectionism is not an easy task either. Musically I have this side too. For example years ago I recorded a track with PT. IT was my favorite song to play, I really liked that song. When we recorded in one of the chord transitions I moved to the wrong chord. I corrected it as fast as I screwed up, I kept my timing on and continued. In the final mix, 90% cannot even notice, some can't even if I point it out. I however cannot even listen to the track.

So how do I break out of this annoying perfectionist shell? Not really sure at all. BUt I am just trying to do more, from playing to recording, to singing...in hopes that I can loosen that bind a bit...and finaly come to place where I can write some words put them with a tune and be able to look at it and say "you know, it isn't perfect, but it works." Then as I work it more I might be able to alter it to make it better. Really I think it is just something that requires a lot of practice. And sitting here waiting for the perfect song to pop in my head just isn't gonna get me anywhere, is it.

Alright, you know I have no idea what I even talked about in this, so I apologize if it makes no sense whatsoever. See, why can I live with blatant imperfection here and in the Bliss itself without freaking out but not in song? Man it is really an annoying little personality quirk I have.

Anyway...

Currently listening to: Shout at the Devil - Motley Crue

Talk Hard, Play Harder! This is Pipes signing out!

Hey everyone...I havn't been here in a while...is anyone still out there?

So yeah, life combined with this whole Christmas song have kept me from this blog thing for a while. Sorry. But the good news is the Post Office gladly accepted my $16 in exchange for getting the CD of my fine Christmas song to the Searcy-Buchholz Track Works World Headquarters in time for the deadline. Looking back on it, being that this is really my first real attempt at recording a track myself, I made a few observations that I am gonna share.

First off, I need to say that I attempted this last year. Failed miserably. I recorded my self playing take after take after take. Nothing was right, I was frustrated. After that I spoke to a very good friend of mine about it. He said to me, that my problem was obvious. That once the mic turned on my focus was on my playing. The fact that I could nail it blindfolded when I was just hanging out on the couch but not with the mic on was telling. See for whatever reason when the mic came on I lost something. Mentally I was in a different place and I was playing with my mind, not my heart and soul. It was about not worrying about the mic, and just playing from the heart.

This year however, this came back to haunt me albeit in different ways. My approach was simple. I wanted to practice the harmony of the piece so much that it became second nature to me, therefor when it came to recording it I had nothing to worry about. The rhythm though I took a different approach. That was simply rhythm is my thing...I can play rhythm with not a care in the world, it is really my comfort zone. So I figured that the rhythm would take care of itself so to speak.

So I played and played. Typical life kept me from recording simply because it was certainly easy to find something far better to do with my time. Then being distracted in life, I lost track of time. All of a sudden the deadline was headed at me like a runaway train. So I decided that Monday was the night. I got home from work, bought a fresh set of Ernie Ball Power Slinkys 11. Restrung ESS, shut the door and went got ready to do this thing.

I started with the harmony. I turned up the backing track and started playing. I took a couple takes which was really just getting my fingers warmed up. Then came the next 5 takes. I kept screwing up and felt much like I did the year before. So I put ESS down, went and got a drink of water. Sat there for a moment and thought back to the conversation I had the year prior. I had once again lost my focus. So I stopped for a moment. Checked my email. Then I found something that takes my mind off of life. Just a photo. So I threw that up on the screen. Picked up Ess, hit record, closed my eyes and just played from the heart. To my surprise, I nailed it...perfect. Hit stop and saved the file out.

Now onto the rhythm...this was a different story. I knew the chords but not how I was gonna put them together, I had a sound in my head, that is it. I put ESS away, spent sometime on my email and such, just not thinking about the song much. Then came time to put this thing to bed. I picked up Samantha, buffed off the fingerprints on her finish and tuned her up. I turned up the backing track and started playing along. I had something I thought might work so I fired up Amplitube to find my tone. Hmm, nothing was really coming close to the sound in my head. Then I came across the JCM 800, a favorite amp of mine. I liked what I heard, albeit very different then what I originally planned. So now came incorporating the new tone with the song. I changed my strumming a lot. and came up with a solid rhythm I loved.

Now the rhythm timing of this song is anything but simple. So while I found a pattern I really liked, it was dependant on impeccable timing. This was not easy...First 10 takes I got my feet wet...and got myself a bit frustrated. Another 10 takes or so no luck, but I was getting closer. By this time my fingers were starting to scream at me....every chord just plain hurt. My wrist (which is weak from being broken when I was dumb and had a skateboard) was aching badly. It was then that I realized that I had yet again lost my soul on this. My concern was the clock. The looming deadline, the need for sleep. So I stopped. I went out side for a bit in the cold and strummed my old tune that I just love to play under the starlight. I came back inside and sat down. Now with a clear head I smirked a bit as I cued up the backing track and took a look at my picture. And I played. It came out great. Except upon listening to it playing back I realized there was some issue with the recording and there was this strange buzz over the the track. But now, I knew what I had to do, forget about the deadline and the time and even the pain in my fingertips and play. So I tested out everything listening for any sign of the offending buzz. It was gone. So I recorded again. The take was great. Not perfect, but something I was proud of.

2:00am and I had finished!

Ironically the rhythm in which I struggled through ended up not working with the track at all and was dropped at the production level. The song turned out great. Very different then what I had ever envisioned but again, I am proud. In the end, it doesn't matter that the rhythm was dropped, or that I even met the deadline. In the end it was a learning expirience for me. I learned what it means to play with your heart and how you cannot just play when your heart is not behind you.

So, I want to thank Jman for his production help on this...without him I would have nothing but an empty sounding guitar.

I thank those who have given me the desire to do this and the drive to truly play with my heart without you none of this would have been dreamed let alone accomplished.

So now a bit humbled by the expirience I put the Christmas song behind me and focus my eyes upon the bright future of playing and letting the guitar be the voice of my heart and soul.

Currently listening to: Bitchin' - The Donnas

Talk Hard, Play Harder! This is Pipes, signing out!